Self-Compassion
How often do you speak harshly to yourself or not allow yourself the same grace you show others?
It can be so difficult to be kind to ourselves sometimes, with the world around us in constant motion, overwhelming stressors, and the feelings that come with them. And if you’re a parent, there’s even more added on. If we take a moment to think about it, how many of us would dismiss our closest friend’s feelings? My guess is not a lot, so why do we do it with ourselves?
Self-compassion is the practice of learning to be a friend to ourselves by showing kindness in the midst of challenges and offering understanding rather than judgment. Self-compassion is the process of becoming an advocate for your feelings, validating your initial thoughts and feelings, and allowing yourself the opportunity to take care of your needs.
Three concepts allow for self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Self-Kindness: Warmth and unconditional acceptance of self
Common Humanity: The unavoidable fact that life entails suffering
Mindfulness: Awareness of moment-to-moment experience in clear and balanced manners
Now that we’ve defined it, let’s talk about what it may look like to practice it in your daily life. Putting it into practice:
Recognize, reframe, and replace negative self-talk
Acknowledge everyone in this life experiences suffering, although unfortunate, also unavoidable
Sit in the moment, take a pause, and notice what is going on around you, inside you, and what aspects you can control
With that, I want to encourage you to be patient with yourself as you embark on this journey of self-compassion. Take a moment this week to allow yourself to feel all of your feelings without guilt. Be present in the moment and practice self-compassion.
Book Recommendation: The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher K. Germer, PhD, and The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff, PhD and Christopher Germer, PhD.
